WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that experts said could change the course of geopolitics for the foreseeable future, Hitler announced a historic agreement that would bring lasting peace to Israel.

While historians were shocked to see that the man who was long thought to be the epitome of hatred toward the Jewish people had successfully brokered a peace treaty to usher in peace for the war-torn region of the Middle East, they had no choice but to acknowledge the positive impact Hitler was now having on Israel's fortunes.

"Saving and protecting Jewish people is what Hitler is all about," said one historian following the announcement of the ceasefire. "We all hoped there would someday be peace between Israel and all of its neighboring Arab countries, but I've got to admit, I never would have predicted that it would be Hitler who pulled it off. Well done, Hitler. You really came through for the Jews on this one."

Members of the media and the public at large could hardly believe that Hitler had pulled off such a surprising peace treaty to safeguard the Jewish people. "It just goes to show that sometimes it's the guys you'd least expect," said one reporter following Hitler's announcement in the White House. "For the last decade, all we've heard about this guy is that he's ‘literally Hitler' and how he was going to plunge the world into war and destruction like the first Hitler did almost a century ago. But, you know what? I've got to hand it to Hitler on this one."

At publishing time, the Jewish people issued a statement of gratitude to Hitler for playing a key role in their survival.

Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!