LOS ANGELES, CA — After seeing the methods Pedro Pascal uses to calm himself in social situations, disgraced entertainment mogul Harvey Weinstein said he was kicking himself for not just saying he had social anxiety years ago.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Weinstein said. "He's out there groping and cuddling all the beautiful actresses because of his ‘social anxiety' or whatever, and I got thrown in the clinker for doing the same! I should've just told everyone I had anxiety or whatever. People love mental disorders these days."

Pascal has raised eyebrows for cuddling and holding hands with numerous female stars during press events to promote his various movies and TV shows. Inside sources said he engages in physical touch to quell social anxiety and nerves, leading other men in Hollywood to say they wish they had thought of claiming something similar.

"Oh, yeah, I have that too," said actor Kevin Spacey. "That's why I always have to touch the young male actors I work with. For that social anxiety thing. Totally."

Female stars said it's endearing to have Pascal grab them whenever he feels like it. "It's cute when Pedro does it," said an actress who asked to remain anonymous. "It's definitely weirder when Jack Black does it."

At publishing time, Harvey Weinstein had been seen trying to convince a coffee shop barista that he was having an anxiety-induced heart attack in hopes that she would administer CPR.

Starbucks employees are fed up and taking matters into their own hands.