GAZA — Following news that the diminutive eco-geopolitical activist was once again planning to set sail to arrive in support of the Palestinian cause, Hamas terrorists released an official statement distancing themselves from Greta Thunberg.

Apparently not wanting the negativity that would come with any association with Thunberg, the infamous terrorist organization sought to clarify that they had absolutely nothing to do with her and that any connection was entirely manufactured on Thunberg's part.

"Please do not lump us in with her," said Hamas spokesterrorist Abu Muhammad Akhtar. "We're completely fine with being viewed by everyone around the world as a bloodthirsty, murderous band of evil terrorists, but that's totally different from being connected with Greta Thunberg. We don't want any part of that."

This was the second time that Thunberg had declared her support for Palestinians by embarking on a seafaring mission to Gaza, leading the terrorists to come out publicly to make sure the world knew that they did not condone or support her statements or actions. "She does not represent us," Akhtar continued. "There's negative publicity, and then there's association with Greta Thunberg. While we're willing to be vilified by the global community, we draw the line at letting anyone think we're in league with her. That would be awful for our image."

At publishing time, Hamas had also released a follow-up statement clarifying that, though it had claimed responsibility for numerous other atrocities over several decades, it had nothing to do with Greta Thunberg's haircut.

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