HEAVEN — In an incredible act of kindness to humanity, God will reportedly allow Norm MacDonald to return to earth for 24 hours to bless the world with his new jokes about O.J. Simpson.

"Thank you, Lord!" cried humanity in unison upon hearing the news. "Oh, happy day!"

Having subsisted for years on Norm MacDonald re-runs, many say the added day of Norm will give them the strength to continue soldiering on in this world. "God gives so many good gifts to nourish and strengthen His people," said local man Bryan Addison. "Another day of Norm is honestly what my heart really, really needed right now. I'm so grateful!"

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.