In the most exciting Bible news since 1611, Zondervan announced today a new Joe Biden Version of the Scriptures. All the books of the Bible have been translated into Joe Biden's native tongue, in hopes that the president and others with dementia can finally understand the Word of God.

Here are ten of the most popular verses from the newest translation of the Bible:

Wow! Powerful stuff... It's so inspiring it makes you want to... well, anyway.

It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.