PARIS — In a historic diplomatic milestone, the government of France announced that it was officially recognizing a Palestinian state, and immediately followed it up with an additional announcement that the nation of France had surrendered to it.

French President Emmanuel Macron revealed the news at a press conference this week, making it clear that while France was proud to recognize the Palestinian state, the French also didn't want any trouble and were willing to just go ahead and preemptively wave the white flag.

"You are a sovereign nation, and please do not hurt us," Macron said in his proclamation. "The nation of France will enjoy full diplomatic relations with the fully recognized Palestinian state and, as is our custom with all other nations, immediately and unconditionally surrender to the Palestinians. The proud French surrender streak continues. Congratulations, Palestine, for soundly defeating us."

When asked why he would surrender without the presence of any hostilities between France and the Palestinians, Macron pointed to centuries of time-honored tradition. "It is the French way," he explained. "We have found it to be best to simply surrender to any nation as soon as it is recognized as a sovereign state. France has been surrendering since long before I was president, and we will be surrendering to everyone long after I am gone."

At publishing time, the nation of France had announced that it had also preemptively surrendered to the next 10 yet-to-be-created nations that would be recognized in the future.

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