U.S. — Recent drone sightings across the eastern United States are apparently nothing more than an elaborate gender reveal, Pentagon officials announced Monday. The revelation came as the lights in the sky thought to be Iranian spy drones or possibly UFOs suddenly formed to spell the sentence "IT'S A BOY!" "We realized it was part of an elaborate gender reveal party when the first satellite images came in," White House National Security Communications Advisor John Kirby said. "Apparently, it's a boy. And, uh, congratulations to the happy couple, I guess." At publishing time, President-elect Donald Trump had promised to ban gender reveal parties and make them punishable by death.

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