U.S. — In the wake of President Trump unleashing devastating videos showing Representative Hakeem Jeffries wearing traditional Mexican garb, Democrats have called for common-sense sombrero control.

Senator Schumer stated that the hurtful videos demonstrate the need for tighter regulations on the use of cartoon sombreros.

"No one needs access to that caliber of sombrero," stated Schumer in a press conference. "Americans should be able to go about their lives, not living in fear that someone will make a video of them with a funny mustache and a big sombrero. Thoughts and prayers are simply not enough. There are real people having sombreros digitally placed on their heads with mariachi music in the background. We will not let the scourge of sombreros plague this nation any longer."

Schumer unveiled a proposal which aims to limit the capacity of sombreros that can be added to a video and create a waiting period for those wanting to access sombrero graphics. "We're not here to take your sombreros," said Schumer. "If you want a little sombrero for sombrero season, that's fine. But no private citizen needs to have access to putting multiple sombreros in a video, with four copies of themselves playing the trumpet in the background. The founders of this country never envisioned such a thing when they were guaranteeing the right to sombreros."

At publishing time, conservatives had raced to stockpile sombrero clip art in response to the Democratic proposal.

Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?