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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
17 Feb 2024


NextImg:Dave Ramsey Advises Trump To Use Snowball Method, Pay Off Smallest Legal Judgement First

NASHVILLE, TN — During a live radio call-in this morning, financial wellness authority Dave Ramsey advised use of his patented "snowball method" to help former President Trump pay down his approximately $470 million in legal judgments.

"You see Donald, you start with the smallest legal judgment first. It's how you get the snowball rolling," said Ramsey. "Then once you get that paid off, you use the money you've been paying on that judgment to attack the next smallest judgment. Get that snowball rolling, baby."

According to sources at Ramsey Solutions, the snowball method has helped millions of people just like Trump get out from under mountains of debt. "First, you tackle that five-thousand-dollar credit card debt or that $95 million defamation settlement, whatever the smallest debt is," explained Financial Peace instructor Kenneth Waymon. "It's all about building momentum, so that snowball of debt payment grows as it rolls downhill. Everyone's tempted to go for the $355 million fraud settlement first, but you've got to be disciplined. You get that $95 million settlement paid off first -- then whoa! Watch your debt payment snowball!"

Trump reportedly decided to call the Dave Ramsey show after he failed to raise $400 million with his newest line of NFT collectibles. "That's okay, I'll call Dave. Dave is tremendous, really big league," said Trump as he dialed in. "Hello? Yes Dave, it's Donald again. So, I'm 77 years old and have $470,000,000 of legal debt. Yes, I've got a job, tremendous benefits, but it doesn't start until next January. What do you say to your favorite President?"

At publishing time, Trump had reportedly hung up on Ramsey after Ramsey yelled, "SELL THE STUPID PLANE!"

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?