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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
3 Feb 2024


NextImg:Costco Unveils New Three-Acre Casserole That Feeds 10,000

ISSAQUAH, WA — Costco is set to release a new line of ready-to-bake casseroles that span three acres and can provide enough food for a gathering of up to ten-thousand people.

Though a step up in size from Costco's current offerings, the casseroles will continue to feature the same high-quality ingredients customers have come to expect from Costco. The lasagna bake casserole will reportedly contain an impressive four miles of made-from-scratch pasta noodles and one thousand pounds of premium ricotta cheese. Weighing in at a total of two and half tons, the casserole comes mounted on wheels and will be delivered by ten tractor-trailers.

"We are proud to offer a casserole that can truly feed a village," said Costco CEO Ron Vachris. "Each casserole will come with a 500-pound bag of salad and our famous 100-gallon tubs of ranch dressing, freshly poured by a team of cement mixers."

The casserole can be cooked by the heat of the sun in warm climates, or in the new General Electric 100,000 cubic foot oven, available exclusively at Costco.

At publishing time, Costco had reportedly purchased the state of Oklahoma to turn into a new production facility for the casseroles.

By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?