TOMBALL, TX — A sudden, inexplicable wave of allergies struck the men of Redeemer Church this morning during the singing of "Old Rugged Cross".

The instant allergy epidemic caused water to pour forth from men's eyes involuntarily, as well as making their voices slightly quaver on the words "I will cling to the old rugged cross."

"Allergies got you too, huh Bill?" said parishioner Mark Dunning as he passed a tissue over. "Phew, they hit me hard. Just right as I started singing 'Til' my trophies at last I lay down', something made liquid come right out of my eye sockets. Weirdest thing."

Despite a low pollen count in the area, by the end of the hymn ever male in the congregation had been seized by the allergy attack. "We might need a lady person to come do the children's sermon while I get these allergies out," said Pastor Jerry, motioning for the kids to come forward. "Must be that cedar. Always gets me during that hymn."

At publishing time, another wave of allergies had struck upon the singing of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."

Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification.