FRANKLIN, TN — According to sources, a local Gen Z college graduate who was now $200,000 in debt with a minimum wage job was celebrating by shopping for a new $750,000 home at 20% interest.

"I worked hard and followed the rules, and now it's time to reap the benefits," said Liam Oliver Franklin, who recently acquired a highly sought-after job in his field for $7.25 per hour. "Now, should I buy the 2-bedroom house in the slums for $750,000, or the 1-bedroom house in the suburbs for $1.2 million? Decisions, decisions."

Franklin reportedly graduated with honors from a prestigious university after studying hard his entire life. He was told by admissions that his massive student loans would be paid off in no time.

"My only concern is figuring out how to pay my $1800 per month loan payment while also affording a $12,000 house payment," he said. "I might have to get a job driving for DoorDash. They pay well, right?"

At publishing time, Franklin had decided to settle for a $2,000 per month apartment owned by BlackRock while saving up for a home and earning money on the side by making racist memes to post on X.

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