NEW YORK — A clump of cells became no longer viable earlier this week at the age of 67.

The clump, which had been birthed by Democrat uterus-owner and former Texas governor Ann Richards, was in its 205th trimester. It presided over nearly 333,000 terminations of unwanted clumps of cells like itself during a 12-year stint as president of a philanthropic organization 3% dedicated to ripping apart clumps of cells and selling the remains.

Sources say that the non-viable formerly 67-year-old clump of cells lost a battle against glioblastoma, a much smaller clump of cells which got too big in the brain of the 67-year-old clump of cells.

The ex-clump of cells became no longer viable as it was surrounded by clumps of cells that were genetically related to it and a dog named Ollie.

At publishing time, the non-viable clump of cells had narrowly avoided having its parts sold to make money for other clumps of cells within its clump-of-cells-killing philanthropic organization.

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