INDIANAPOLIS, IN — What had been hailed as a potentially Hall of Fame career was cut short at the start of just its second season, as WNBA superstar Caitlin Clark was indicted for murder after fouling Angel Reese.

The incident occurred during a game between the Indiana Fever and the Chicago Sky, with Clark, who has been violently and mercilessly fouled an estimated eight trillion times in the past year, fouling Reese. Although Reese survived and was unharmed, it was announced immediately following the game that Clark had been indicted for her murder.

"The game of basketball is no place for this level of wanton violence," said WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert. "As soon as we saw that Caitlin Clark had committed the foul against Angel Reese and not the other way around, we contacted the authorities to ask for charges to be filed."

The foul, quickly upgraded from a flagrant foul to a federal hate crime, could potentially lead to Clark being placed behind bars for the rest of her life — if she's not publicly executed. "Ms. Clark violated the law being fouling a black player instead of being fouled by a black player," Commissioner Engelbert continued. "We have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to white players fouling black players. Regardless of whether or not the victim lives or dies, it's a murder charge every time. May God have mercy on Caitlin Clark's soul."

At publishing time, the WNBA announced that all of Clark's career statistics would be taken away and instead be attributed to Reese's career totals as a form of reparations.

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