LONDON — Authorities warned British citizens of widespread reports of a dangerous man loose on the streets, threatening to share an opinion.

According to an official bulletin, the recently released Graham Linehan represented an urgent threat to public order, as he had not only come up with an idea not conforming to politically acceptable ideology all on his own, but also threatened to spread this idea by engaging others in reasonable civil discourse.

"The suspect is about medium height, brown-haired, and radically free-thinking," the official police bulletin read. "Linehan, who we believe may be armed with a bullhorn or possibly wearing an offensive sandwich board, will be dangerous if approached, as he has already threatened multiple times to share his opinions with others without obtaining prior permission from the British Directory of Public Thought. All right-minded subjects of the king are strongly advised to avoid engaging the suspect in conversation at all costs and report him to the nearest constable."

Police stated that they had received a tip in tracking the suspect down.

"He's a shifty little blighter, all right, but we'll cook his chops for him in a jiffy," said Lieutenant Briggs, who works with the Scotland Yard. "I say, awful lot of cheek that one has, if he has his own opinions, wot? Silly little goose. We'll teach him to be an independent thinker — just chuck the bloomin' chappie in the klink, that's what I say."

At publishing time, British authorities had announced that Linehan had been taken back into custody and sentenced to attend a re-educational centre.

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