RIVERSIDE, CA — Responding law enforcement agencies reported this afternoon that an ongoing board game rules explanation had developed into a critical hostage situation.

According to sources close to the situation, a local game group had gathered Monday night to enjoy a round of Who Goes There?, the exciting game of social deduction based on the "growing paranoia" of the 1938 science fiction novella of the same name written by John W. Campbell. However, the rulebook of Who Goes There? was 39 pages, and the host of the party had not read a single word of it beforehand.

"Okay, gang," witnesses said the host of the party announced. "Now that we have read the introduction, the object of the game, and the table of contents, let us now read how to set up the game."

An uneasy hush soon fell over the group as what would end up being an hours-long explanation of the rules began.

"Oh no," whispered one of the hostages. "He's not just reading the flavor text for more immersion, which would be bad enough. He's reading every single word in the rulebook."

"Quick, call for help before he notices you have your phone out!" whispered another helpless hostage.

"Hey guys, quiet down," the host could be heard saying on the recording of the 911 call. "This part looks really important. Okay, back to page 19 here, with step number 4 of resolving events. Roll the dice. Check to see if the number of successes was rolled. If so, take no penalty; if not, receive the penalty listed on the event."'

At publishing time, a SWAT team had set up a perimeter and began looking for how they might be able to extricate the hostages with minimal casualties.

These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.