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Oct 7, 2025  |  
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NextImg:Bill Burr Lands Stand-Up Comedy Gig On Jabba's Sail Barge

DUNE SEA — Comedian Bill Burr has reportedly accepted an offer to perform on Khettana, a luxury sail barge owned by Jabba the Hutt.

"Jee-jee sa dunkee jeeska Bill Burr, joka yuna, panwa cheejee che geesa holo-chasa du America goola-lorda," announced Bib Fortuna, majordomo to Jabba the Hutt.

Burr will reportedly be paid up to 25,000 Peggats, or 1 million Imperial Credits, to entertain Hutt Cartel leadership, corrupt foreign dignitaries, and assorted members of the criminal underworld. He joins a large ranks of performers such as Louis CK, Dave Chappell, and the Max Rebo Band.

Critics have preemptively panned Burr for agreeing to tell entertain cold-blooded murders who use their power and influence to get oppress the people and grow their riches. But Burr said politics didn't enter into it. "I don't really care how fat Jabba is, I only care about money," Burr said. "Besides, this is a once in a lifetime chance to see Max Rebo. Max Rebo!"

At publishing time, Bill Burr was thrown into a the belly of the almighty Sarlacc after telling a joke about Jabba's slaves.

Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!