BORGO EGNAZIA, PUGLIA — Sources close to President Biden say that the leader of the United States of America was "highly disappointed" to find out that what he thought was a huge, free scoop of vanilla ice cream at the G7 Summit was in fact only Pope Francis.

Eyewitnesses claim that it was the white papal garments which first caught 81-year old Biden's attention and reminded him of vanilla. Allegedly, Biden began licking his lips and asking the other world leaders if anyone had an ice-cream cone before wandering over to the Bishop of Rome while muttering about how long it had been since he'd had a good scoop of vanilla.

"It was a big disappointment for the big guy," said Belinda Gyrth, a member of the presidential staff. She paused to comfort the President, who was standing behind her weeping and asking for ice cream. "It's okay, buddy. I know you're disappointed, but maybe we can stop by McDonald's in the airport on the way home and pick you up some ice cream, okay? Don't cry now — it's okay."

Sources say that Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni came over to offer Biden her condolences and cheered him up by promising him a scoop of real Italian gelato if he was good and signed the deal with the nice president of Ukraine.

At publishing time, Biden had reportedly extended the ten-year security deal with Ukraine after Zelensky had promised him an even bigger scoop of special Ukrainian soft serve.

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