WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprise move, President Joe Biden awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Skeletor, longtime archnemesis of He-Man.

Biden awarded Skeletor the medal for his outstanding efforts to conquer Eternia and become the singular Master of the Universe.

"I can think of no one more deserving than Skeletor," said Biden in a statement. "For all he has done to seek vengeance on King Randor, and for his continued efforts subjugating people through fear to gain unlimited power, we owe Skeletor a debt of gratitude. With this medal, we recognize Skeletor's great contribution to America, and to the entire universe."

According to those present, Skeletor's medal presentation came just after Earvin "Magic" Johnson and before Hilary Clinton. "Wow, what an honor," said Skeletor. "Sometimes, after spending year after year being a supervillain and trying to conquer the universe, you start to wonder if anyone really appreciates the work you do. Thank you, Joe Biden, for making me feel seen. I can't wait to crush all of you with my Havoc Staff."

At publishing time, Biden had announced that he had planned to give a 20th medal to the Sauron, but the Dark Lord was unfortunately unable to take physical form at this time.

Thanks to clown world, it's been a great year for comedy. Here are some of our top-performing sketches of 2024!