BEIJING — After a challenging last two weeks, a secret meeting was held by several world leaders from around the globe so America's enemies could sign a petition to bring back Joe Biden.

The emergency meeting was called after President Donald Trump spent his first week in office signing a flurry of executive orders to bring sweeping changes to a wide range of American policies, something America's enemies never had to worry about under the Biden administration.

"We demand that Biden be put back in charge immediately," said Colombian President Gustavo Petro. "When Biden was president, we could just do whatever we wanted. It is super, super frustrating to no longer be able to tell America what to do. This petition is meant to change that."

The group of leaders hoped to get Biden back in power before it was too late. "We must bring back Joe," Chinese President Xi Jinping said through an interpreter. "He was good, very good for China. We cannot afford four more years of Mr. Trump."

At publishing time, world leaders had reportedly asked congressional Democrats if they could "at least cook up an impeachment or something" to make things more difficult for Trump.

Travis is back on his mission to interview everyone. Next on the list is celebrity chef and restauranteur Andrew Gruel.