U.S. — With Jimmy Kimmel Live! back on the air, millions of Americans reported that they had reverted back to not watching Jimmy Kimmel by choice.

Kimmel was welcomed back to television after a brief suspension with an overwhelming surge in ratings as millions tuned in to see if he would apologize for blaming MAGA Republicans for the assassination of Charlie Kirk. But when he did not, they went back to their standard practice of not watching him.

"Most viewers have mentally suspended him for years," said ABC producer Jack Chalant. "We were really impressed with the 10,000% ratings increase when he returned on Wednesday, but it looks like it's already dropped back off. Oh well. Back to our regular routine."

"Who?" asked local TV viewer Edward Rodriquez when questioned about Kimmel's return.

According to sources, Americans were relatively unfazed when Jimmy Kimmel Live! was pulled off the air, save for a vocal minority who considered it an attack on free speech. Now that he was back, they're still not watching. Even some of those who defended Kimmel have dropped off, citing a lack of interest. "I'm a big proponent of free speech," one viewer explained. "But even free speech needs to actually be funny to get me to watch."

At publishing time, protestors who campaigned for Kimmel to get his job back admitted that they didn't know that Kimmel's job was hosting a TV show.

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