DAMASCUS — Following the announcement by the Transportation Security Administration that the policy requiring airline passengers to remove their footwear at airport checkpoints was being lifted, news broke that production had finally resumed at Crazy Mohammed's Shoe Bomb Factory.

The company had been struggling to stay in business since December 2001, when Richard Reid attempted to detonate a shoe bomb on board a passenger flight, resulting in tighter security measures that required passengers to remove their shoes for screening. Crazy Mohammed Al-Badawi, founder and president of Crazy Mohammed's, said the policy change came just in time.

"We're back in business, boys!" Al-Badawi told his staff. "I know things have been difficult the last couple of decades, but thanks to the change in the TSA policy in America, we can get back to doing what we do best and start cranking out shoe bombs. Let's get to work!"

A new television advertisement, Al-Badawi wasted no time in drumming up new business. "Come on down to Crazy Mohammed's Shoe Bomb Factory!" he shouted. "We have shoe bombs in all the latest styles — dress shoes, running shoes, casual shoes — fashionable and fully capable of destroying an airplane to strike America. And remember, every purchase of a shoe bomb comes with a free goat! If these prices aren't crazy, I'm not Crazy Mohammed! Death to America!"

At publishing time, Al-Badawi had told friends he was confident the company would be far more successful than Wild Waziri's Used Hamas Pagers Emporium.

Dodgers Baseball is proud commemorate MS-13 gang members!