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The Babylon Bee
26 Aug 2023
Even at the Last Supper, Jesus' disciples were still not keen to who was the traitor among them - yet looking back, the signs were all there. Here are nine obvious clues that should have alerted the disciples to who would betray the Lord:
- Was always playing music on speaker phone in public: Pretty clear red flag.
- Used the "light" setting on the toaster: Always a strong sign of Satanic possession.
- Always called Wednesday "Hump Day": Obviously was destined for Hell.
- Was a huge Red Sox fan: Huge tip-off.
- Double dipped his bread in the oil: RED ALERT.
- Ordered his steak well done: Not sure how the disciples missed this.
- Always brought "Diplomacy" to game night: Such plain evidence of his heart's treachery.
- Put the toilet paper roll on so it unrolls from the bottom: How could there be any doubt this was the betrayer of Christ?
- Used an Android phone, so the disciple's group texts always came through in green, and whenever anyone laughed at a message, it would say "Andrew laughed at..." instead of adding the "Haha" graphic, and if Judas was out of in a remote area without cell coverage, his messages wouldn't come through, and then seven messages would all come through suddenly a week later, like "Hey, was I supposed to get the food for those five thousand people?": This could not have been more obvious.
Looking back, it was all so clear! Hindsight is 20/20.
It is super important to know your stuff when it comes to debating ultra-MAGA Republicans about guns.