It's official: According to the U.S. government, taking Tylenol is "not good." However, this raises questions about how people should treat their headaches going forward.
After consulting with RFK Jr., The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of alternative treatment methods to get rid of your headache:
Identify as not having a headache: Easy. And then anyone who tries to say you have a headache is just a bigot.
Smash your thumb with a ball peen hammer: You won't even remember that you ever had a headache.
Become severely addicted to morphine: You may have other problems, but no headache.
Remove your head: No head, no headache. It's science.
Travel to Canada for healthcare: They'll probably recommend euthanasia. But at least you definitely won't feel your headache after that.
Stop trying to understand the plot of Rise of Skywalker: It's no use.
Transfer headache to someone else with voodoo: It will cost you your soul, but your headache will be completely gone.
See? You don't need Tylenol! There are plenty of safer options. Know any other treatments or home remedies? Let us know in the comments below.
Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?