After decades in darkness, the Trump administration brought to light yesterday the "JFK Files", 80,000 pages of documents pertaining to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. After combing through the evidence long into the night, the Bee has uncovered the following seven shocking revelations:
Bert and Ernie really were just roommates: Didn't see that coming.
NFL refs really do cheat for the Kansas City Chiefs: We knew it.
When the CIA was asked if they arranged JFK's assassination, they said "nope": Mind blown. Well, not literally.
Captain Crunch is actually Commander Crunch, as his uniform does not have the 4 stripes granted to captains: This changes everything.
A woodchuck could chuck 14 ounces of wood, provided it could chuck wood: They left no stone unturned.
Fidel Castro fathered a son out of wedlock named Justin, whose whereabouts remain unknown to this day: Some mysteries remain.
JFK is actually still alive and going by the name "Joe Biden": It all makes sense now.
Bombshell after bombshell! Let us know in the comments what surprised you most.
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