Jimmy Kimmel may have been relieved of his duties at Jimmy Kimmel Live!, but that doesn't mean he's ready to retire. He's only 57, has bills to pay, and has plenty of good years left.
To help him out, The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of perfect jobs for him:
Political pundit for CNN: He already parrots DNC talking points, so it's a natural fit.
"Before" photo model: Few other people can so perfectly capture the right horribly pathetic vibe.
Purple Teletubby: Nobody will be able to see him cry behind the Tinky Winky mask.
Donald Trump's cupbearer: If someone ever tries to poison the president, you know who gets it first.
Furniture store "Going Out Of Business" sign holder: You twirl that sign like your life depends on it, Jimmy.
Joke Tester at the Bad Joke Factory downtown: They're always on the lookout for people to test out all the really bad jokes.
Computer programmer: But first, he'll have to learn to code.
The Babylon Bee would like to wish him luck on all his future endeavors. What other jobs would be perfect for ol' Jimmy? Add your ideas in the comments.
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