NEW YORK — The President took time out of his busy schedule to go on a twenty-minute rant today about The Apprentice, describing it as a ratings disaster and "boring like you wouldn't believe." NBC was left with no choice but to bring the show back.

"Terrible show, The Apprentice, the sad, ratings-challenged NBC couldn't make it work," Trump suddenly said during his speech at the UN on Tuesday. "The entire show was a giant job interview. Who wants to watch a job interview? What idiot came up with that idea? Totally unbelievable."

He added, "You know, I had a catch phrase. I love catch phrases. 'You're fired!' They should say that to whoever wrote that show. It was so bad and boring."

White House insiders claim Trump was inspired by ABC's willingness to bring back Jimmy Kimmel despite his poor ratings, just because the Trump administration was happy his show had been put on hiatus. The gambit appears to have paid off. "Whoa, Trump hated his own show?" NBC producer Jerrick Broccoli reportedly said. "Greenlight it right away and make Trump the host again. We're going to make The Apprentice great again whether that dictator likes it or not!"

At publishing time, The Apprentice returned with record-breaking ratings and was once again canceled by NBC for performing too well.

Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?