WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump warned the public against chugging Windex and other off-brand window cleaners on Friday, causing millions of Democrats to chug Windex.

Trump briefly spoke on the dangers of Windex while leaving the White House on Friday. "My maids love Windex, but you've got to stay away from it. It's very bad. Don't drink it. Don't even look at it," Trump said. "It's poison, believe me."

The press pool descended into chaos following the statement. Several members pushed back against the president's claim, demanding to see peer-reviewed documentation on the matter. Others began drinking Windex on the spot.

Once news broke that the president wanted people to avoid drinking Windex, reports began to filter in that Democrats had started ingesting it as much as possible. Leftists from all walks of life began drinking Windex with every meal, playing Windex drinking games, and organizing Windex tasting clubs. Sales of Windex showed early signs of surging across the country. Within hours, hospitals were overrun with liberals overdosing on Windex.

Trump has since enacted a state of emergency, declaring Windex unfit for human consumption. That only made matters worse, however, as liberals across the world began rallying around the blue cleaner and guzzling it until the chemicals burned their digestive tract.

At publishing time, Democrats blamed President Trump's warning against chugging Windex for the sudden spike in hospitalizations resulting from people chugging Windex.

Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?