WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning show of brilliant military strategy, President Trump has leaked his top-secret Yemen airstrike plans to The Atlantic so that no one will ever see them or read them.

The battle plan, which was just a group chat text message that said: "Yeah, let's drop bombs on them, lol" was sent to a journalist with The Atlantic to be published in an article that no one saw, in a publication no one reads.

"My administration is expert in top-secret. Frankly, no one does top-secret better than we do," said Trump. "We know that The Atlantic, which used to be great but now is so terrible, has zero readers, and no one will see my war plans."

"It's the most secure place to hide these plans in the world, maybe in history."

The magazine's editor assured the nation there was nothing to worry about. "Trump's secret is safe with us," he said, "just like all our articles, news, and advertisements."

At publishing time, journalists had confirmed that Trump's staff had responded to the texted war plans with 3 fire emojis and an eggplant emoji.

The Founding Fathers didn't always agree behind closed doors.