Speculation has been swirling about President Donald Trump's health, with some people even spreading wild rumors that he died over the weekend. What's the real story?
The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of undeniable signs that Trump's health is going downhill:
Trump has been occasionally posting in lowercase on social media, and his posts have been more coherent: This is not normal.
He is sometimes seen sitting down: A sure sign of failing health. Obviously weak.
He only managed to eat eight Big Macs today: It's like he's slowly fading away.
The man's frickin' 80 or something: Obviously, anyone over 80 years old is at death's door.
Trump shakes hands with nobody, says nonsense, and wanders around aimlessly: Oh, wait, that was the last guy.
He shot a mere 36 on the links this weekend: Sources close to Trump say he's a shadow of his usual 24.
He only works 23 hours a day now: A shocking decline in stamina.
JD Vance beat him at Super Smash Bros. yesterday: This NEVER used to happen. Trump's losing his touch.
He introduced just 68 new tariffs in the last eight hours: This drop in productivity is concerning.
Trump's normally tangerine skin color is slowly fading to a burnt sienna hue: The end is near.
This is terrifying evidence. It's obviously only a matter of time before Trump is out of commission. Did we miss any warning signs? Let us know in the comments.
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