The strong arm of the law works a little differently in the Lone Star State, where asking for mild salsa is grounds for arrest (and for a good whuppin'). Here are ten crimes that you can actually be executed for in the great State of Texas:

1. Forgetting The Alamo: Straight to the electric chair.
2. Saying "you all" instead of "y'all": Texans don't take kindly to such commie nonsense.
3. Stopping for gas anywhere other than Buc-ee's: The definition of criminal insanity.
4. Owning a vehicle with no truck bed and no dog in truck bed: Also, if the dog is one of those small, yappy dogs.
5. Driving carefully in the rain: Right to death row.
6. Failing to bow your head when a George Strait song comes on the radio: Show some respect.
7. Saying, "No thanks, I don't feel like tacos tonight": Firing squad, immediately!
8. Forgetting the lyrics to "Deep In The Heart Of Texas": No trial necessary.
9. Refusing to acknowledge the superiority of Whataburger over all other fine-dining establishments: No Michelin chef can compete with a Double Meat Whataburger with cheese.
10. Messing with Texas: You can't say you weren't warned.

There you have it - the law of the land in the greatest state/nation on earth. God bless Texas!

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.