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Jun 5, 2025  |  
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Timothy P. Carney, Senior Columnist


NextImg:The shrinking ‘village’ has no cousins


The cousin is an endangered species.

“The average number of cousins is declining in the U.S. and much of Europe,” reported the Atlantic, “and the same trend is predicted to hit other parts of the world in the coming decades.”

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Consider a high school child today. Her parents are likely Generation X. The average household with children in the 1980s had less than two children, and so if we round up, the average Gen Xer had one sibling.

That gives our generic high schooler today one aunt or uncle. About 16% of all 40-year-olds have no children today. So, if you have an aunt or an uncle, there’s a 16% chance you have no cousins. But again, the average Gen Xer grew up with 0.85 siblings, which means another chunk of current high schoolers have no aunts or uncles, and so no possibility of cousins.

Those who do have cousins are likely not to have many. Most Gen Xers had one or two siblings, who in turn have one or two children. That gives current high schoolers, on average, one to four cousins.

Why should anyone care? As the Atlantic piece lays out, the nature of the cousin relationship is not that determined in contemporary Western society.

Historically, in the West and elsewhere, cousins, along with aunts and uncles, have played crucial roles in family life.

David Brooks, in a provocatively titled 2020 piece, “The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake,” wrote about the strength provided by extended clans.

“Extended families have two great strengths. The first is resilience. An extended family is one or more families in a supporting web. ... If a mother dies, siblings, uncles, aunts, and grandparents are there to step in. If a relationship between a father and a child ruptures, others can fill the breach. Extended families have more people to share the unexpected burdens.”

Brooks is right that nuclear families today are struggling because they are trying to get by in an inhospitable habitat. While a married mother and father are the essential ingredients for a full childhood, four hands are not enough. "It takes a village," as a wise woman once said, "to raise a child."

That’s an old African proverb. Historically, the “village” was extended family, capacious both vertically (spanning generations) and horizontally. In other words, the village is largely cousins.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE FROM THE WASHINGTON EXAMINER

Ask a modern parent which days involve the least supervision of their children, and it’s those holidays when little Bobby and Sue are too busy playing with their cousins to ask for anything.

If we want happier children and less anxious parents, we need to save the cousin.