They say there are two Americas. One red and one blue. Red America is older, male, rural, didn’t graduate from college, and votes Republican. Blue America is younger, female, urban, graduated from college, and votes Democrat.

There is some truth to this. Women between the ages of 18 and 29 voted for former Vice President Kamala Harris by a 24-point margin (61%-37%), while men between the ages of 45 and 64 voted for President Donald Trump by a 22-point margin (60%-38%). That is a yawning 46-point gap between young women and older men. 

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However, as divided as men and women are, something seems to unite them into long-term projects of cooperative care for thousands of years: marriage.

According to survey data from Echelon Insights, while there is a smaller but still substantial partisan gap between young single men and women (D+28), the gap between young married men and women is ZERO. Married men (43%-35%) and married women (42%-34%) between the ages of 18 and 34 favor Republicans by 8 points. 

However, once anyone gets divorced, political polarization returns. Divorced men favor Republicans by a 17-point margin (46%-29%), while divorced women favor Democrats by 7 points (43%-36%), leaving a 24-point partisan gap between divorced men and women of all ages. 

“So there seems to be something about marriage that brings men and women closer together in their politics,” Echelon Insights founder Patrick Ruffini wrote. “Marriage involves coming together on larger values-infused questions, like how to raise kids or where to live. Why shouldn’t this also cause married couples to gravitate towards their partners’ political beliefs?”

Ruffini is absolutely correct. As explained in my book, Sex and the Citizen: How the Assault on Marriage is Destroying Democracy, by channeling our biological needs for emotional and physical intimacy through the institution of marriage, men and women are encouraged to form a unified vision of what the good life is and how they can achieve it together. This will include much negotiation and compromise by both spouses. However, the end result is happier husbands and wives, healthier and more productive children, and closer, more harmonious communities.

ELON MUSK, FATHERHOOD, AND THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY

Unfortunately, marriage has been collapsing in the United States since the 1970s and shows no signs of leveling off. Some 80% of households used to have a married couple, but now less than half do. 

If we want to reverse political polarization in this country, reversing the decline of marriage would be a great place to start.