Fatima Goss Graves, president and CEO of the National Women’s Law Center, suggests female athletes should learn to “lose gracefully” when biological men dominate in their sport. 

Her professional bio alleges that Graves has spent her entire career “fighting to advance opportunities for women and girls.” Anyone reasonable would agree a man creates a bit of a barrier between a woman and the finish line — that male bodies don’t belong in women’s sports. But most are willing to stay silent, roll over, and hope the conversation fizzles.  

I know from experience — flashback to April 2022 and my senior year at Boston College. William “Lia” Thomas was a senior at the University of Pennsylvania; the gender contagion was still nascent. The narrative that women should put up and shut up was only beginning to take root.  

I thought inviting writer Jennifer Braceras to speak to the Boston College chapter of the Network of enlightened Women was overkill. I, too, assumed the Lia Thomas hullabaloo would blow over and that mediocre men would return to accepting loss. Still, Braceras is a fantastic lawyer and was bound to provide keen insight into Title IX’s future. That is where my trouble began.  

While I had been president of my NeW chapter for several months, booking an event on a college campus was unnecessarily complicated. I hoped to get ahead of the red tape. I submitted the April event for approval in January and secured funding a few weeks later. The April date creeping up, I logged in to check its status. It was canceled.  

Days, an email, and a voicemail later, I received an explanation from the associate director of Boston College’s Office of Student Involvement: “Unfortunately, I’ve had to seek approval from higher up for your event due to the controversial nature of the topic related to transgender identities.” The event was deleted from the system.

Funny, an event titled “Treating Transgender Early Adolescents Medically” was held in Gasson Hall the night prior. Was that event flagged the same way as mine? The associate director offered to postpone the event to allot more time to vet Jennifer Braceras. Vet?   

My Catholic university had to “vet” a proponent of a biological concept understandable to a preschooler, a basic tenet of the Christian faith, and the consensus mere years ago. Even stranger, Braceras had taught courses at Boston College law. Had she become so dangerous in the interim that she required “vetting” and deferment to higher-ups?

Maybe they hoped I would be inundated with assignments, extracurriculars, and job hunting. I’d roll over when met with extra effort and accept the cancellation. They didn’t know me. I called the dean’s office and explained the situation. They informed me that the dean was “out.” His return time was unknown. Did I want to schedule an appointment?  

I dialed a few different numbers, this time those of my classmates. Another biblical story came to mind from the book of Joshua. We were going to sit in the lobby of the dean’s office and await his return. The three of us held a stakeout until he made his way back. I overheard the dialogue between him and his secretary. It was about me. “She sounded very upset. She was very polite, don’t get me wrong, but definitely not happy.”

I stood up and introduced myself and my friends. We talked ourselves into a conference room with the dean. He admitted to allowing the vetting to slip through the cracks amid other problems with getting my event approved. He acknowledged that other events did not require this level of scrutiny. But since several Islamic student organizations wreaked havoc at an event with the Daily Wire’s Andrew Klavan, pounding on the windows and chanting, the university dreaded welcoming conservative speakers. Years later, conservative groups were penalized for leftist chaos.   

I offered club funds to hire Boston College police officers in case pandemonium arose. The dean agreed to prioritize Braceras’s approval if we gave him a few more days. Fortunately, Braceras was local and willing to postpone. There was one more catch. The current event flyer would have to go. Braceras originally suggested an eye-catching title: “Sex is Better than Gender.” The office would allow only a longer, wordier, less noticeable one: “Title IX, Male-Bodied Athletes, and the Growing Threat to Women’s Sports.”

We compromised, and the flyers were still effective. The man who printed 50 for us told us he would do his best to attend out of genuine interest. The dean, officers, and printer did not oppose our freedom of expression. None feared us 20-year-old girls, but having the “wrong” opinion might mean professional or social demise. Support came in whispers.  

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We can whisper our support, hoping the conversation wanes, or get in the decision-making room, or at least the lobby, like the women who fought for suffrage and equal pay. We can fight for what’s right until they are willing to listen.

A woman need not learn to “lose gracefully” if that woman refuses to lose.  

Emma Foley graduated from Boston College. She is part of the new book You’re Not Alone: The Conservative Woman’s Guide to College.