When Kieran Culkin won the Oscar for best supporting actor, he reached the pinnacle of his profession. It was a crowning achievement, the kind of moment many actors dream about but few ever experience.
Onstage, basking in the thrill of well-earned success, Culkin had the entertainment world at his feet. But instead of dwelling on his triumph or making a political statement, his thoughts went somewhere far more profound. He turned to his wife and joked about a deal they once made: If he won an Oscar, she promised they would have four children.
It was a touching and lighthearted moment, yet it revealed something deeper. At the peak moment of his professional success, Culkin’s heart instinctively turned toward the permanent things: marriage, family, and the enduring bonds that outlast fleeting career highs.
He even admitted that they had not revisited this conversation in years, but at this climactic moment, his mind pointed him not toward the ephemeral but toward the things that truly matter.
His reaction hints at an undeniable truth — one that even an Oscar cannot overshadow. Career achievements, no matter how dazzling, will eventually fade into history. They will become like dust, overtaken by the next winner, big moment, or round of accolades. But the permanent things — family, love, and the relationships we build — endure.
Culkin’s wisdom is not merely anecdotal. It is backed by decades of research. The longest-running study on human happiness, conducted by Harvard University for over 80 years, has consistently shown that strong relationships are the most significant factor in long-term fulfillment. The people who had the strongest relationships were married and had children.
The findings reveal that deep personal connections, not professional success or wealth, are the true markers of a flourishing life. Dr. Robert Waldinger, the study’s director, noted that people who are more socially connected to family, friends, and community are not only happier but also healthier and live longer lives. Conversely, loneliness has been found to be as detrimental to health as smoking or excessive drinking.
Similarly, Brad Wilcox’s research in his book Get Married affirms that the happiest people in America are those who are married with children. This runs counter to modern narratives that suggest happiness is a choose-your-own-adventure path of career milestones, material success, or individual pursuits. Western, expressive individualism tells us that meaning can be found in anything — work, travel, fame, or even personal reinvention. Yet, again and again, hard evidence points to marriage and family as the bedrock of enduring joy.
Hollywood is filled with stories of stars who reached the top only to find that the view from there is lonelier than expected. The myth that professional success alone can fulfill us has led many down a path of disillusionment. Radical individualism promises happiness in myriad ways and suggests that family is just one of many optional pursuits rather than a foundation for a well-lived life. Yet, time and again, people who achieve career success find themselves drawn back to the same fundamental truth: What endures is not what we achieve but whom we love.
Culkin could have used his Oscar moment like many people in Hollywood do when they make political statements, indulge in self-congratulation, or simply thank their colleagues. While expressing gratitude to those who helped him, Culkin’s instinct was to think about the deeper things in his life and family. At the highest point of his professional life, he wanted to transform that fleeting joy into something that lasts — a deeper, more enduring happiness found in love, commitment, and family.
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His final words to his wife at that moment encapsulated it perfectly: “Jazz, love of my life, ye of little faith — no pressure. I love you … And let’s get cracking on those kids. What do you say? I love you.”
What a profound truth. What mattered most to Culkin was not the golden statuette in his hand, symbolizing the pinnacle of his career, but the people he would share his life with long after the cameras stopped rolling and the spotlight shifted to another star. And in that, he gave us all something to think about.
J.P. De Gance is the founder and president of Communio, a nonprofit organization that equips churches to promote healthy relationships, marriages, and the family. He is co-author of Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America.