My fellow veterans in the Facebook veterans group warned me not to write about the E4 Mafia. I should have listened. My most recent column contains errors so obvious that I absolutely deserve the ”What the hell is the matter with you?” messages from readers. I should have made sure I understood the NCO ranks of the Navy and Marines. And above all, I should have simply Googled “Marine Corps enlisted ranks” so that I wouldn’t have been the moron saying a lance corporal was the fourth Marine enlisted rank. I apologize to my readers, to Marine corporals, and to the Marines in general for my error.
I wish I had an excuse, but sometimes, in writing and in the military, a man just needs to admit he messed up and accept he’s going to have to eat some s***.
Point of clarification: I am talking about minor mess-ups that can be handled informally by a soldier’s first-line supervisor or perhaps his squad leader. The military is not like many other civilian jobs where mistakes cost time and money. Some screw-ups in the military can get people hurt or killed. A service member must never, under any circumstances, misplace or lose control of his weapon. He must never fall asleep on guard duty or leave his post without a relief. He must never accidentally fire his weapon. He must never lose control of sensitive information. For these mistakes, there must be serious penalties.
But there are other idiot errors for which the service member will suffer many push-ups and be yelled at or mocked, and for these, there are a few concepts one learns.
First, make no excuses or attempts at explanation. Back in Army basic training, my company was to endure a small road march. Light rucksack, not too long of a march. But for some reason, I hadn’t filled my canteens. I had very little water. I would have been fine, but when Drill Sgt. Menendez discovered my infraction, he went crazy. He grabbed my equipment suspenders and shook me, screaming, “You try kill yourself! Why you try kill yourself!” I was terrified, and for a moment, I thought I was about to discover the meaning of the phrase “scared s***less.” But then, my brain partially reengaged.
“Why you have no water?” the drill sergeant screamed.
“Because I didn’t have time, sergeant.” That was an additional mistake.
Menendez stopped shaking me and smiled. “Oh. You no have no time. You and me will have some time tonight doing many pushups.”
Second, the soldier must realize that the ones punishing or mocking him are trying to help him, and he must not take it personally.
When I was a young private, I was working with my hardcore team leader Sgt. Jackson disassembling and cleaning an M60 machine gun to prepare for a state inspection. I was clueless with the weapon.
Jackson sighed. “This thing is filthy. Reedy, spray all the metal parts with CLP oil.”
I obeyed. I didn’t want to anger this man.
A moment later, he picked up a dripping metal tube and started laughing. “Reedy, this is the barrel cleaning rod. It’s not a part of the weapon.”
“Sergeant, you said to spray all metal parts.”
Jackson’s face was red as he laughed. “Yes, I did, Private. And now, we’ll have the shiniest cleaning kit in the battalion.”
I did a stupid thing and deserved to be laughed at. Then I compounded the error by taking it personally, repeating, “Yes, Sergeant,” in a cold tone. I had much to learn.
But I’ve learned enough of writing to proofread and check basic facts. There’s no excuse for my stupid mistake. It’s one of those failures I’ll be worrying about at 3 a.m. for years to come. I can only accept the rightful condemnation from readers and do better in the future. So, to all the great Marines and sailors, I offer my sincere apologies, and I will now scrub the quarterdeck with my toothbrush.
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Trent Reedy, author of several books, including Enduring Freedom, served as a combat engineer in the Iowa National Guard from 1999 to 2005, including a tour of duty in Afghanistan.
*Some names and call signs in this story may have been changed due to operational security or privacy concerns.