The public is flying more than ever, and the large, rapid increase is creating some problems. Airport infrastructure isn’t up to snuff in many cities (some Miami passengers will be walking a mile to their gate thanks to a downed airport train), staffing problems plague airlines and airports, and also, crowded planes and new fliers are leading to clashes over norms and etiquette.

I’ve written about airplane etiquette before. I argue that in general, we should try to accommodate families sitting together but that there are limits to this principle. So, what about Southwest Airlines, where there are no assigned seats, but instead passengers claim seats on a first-come, first-served basis?

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Let’s start with some background: Some seats are better than others, even in a cabin with no first class. On a typical Southwest 737, there are two exit rows, which have more legroom, and in particular, one seat on each side that has no seat in front of it — what folks call “Southwest First Class.”

Also, some people love sitting in the front row, “bulkhead” seats, where you have more legroom and nobody reclining into your space.

Beyond that are the ordinary considerations: Nobody wants a middle seat, taller people tend to prefer aisle seats, some folks want a window, many people want to sit as far forward (for rapid deplaning), and the very last row cannot recline. So, yes, some seats are better than others, which means having an earlier boarding position can make your flight more enjoyable.

Boarding position is determined by a few factors: You can purchase one of the first 15 boarding positions on the day of the flight for about $40; for a bit less, you can get EarlyBird boarding, which automatically gets you a relatively high position; you can have status with Southwest, which improves your position; you can check in exactly 24 hours ahead of time.

Great. But sometimes, one person in a group will have an early boarding position, and others will have late positions. If you and your buddy buy tickets separately, maybe you’re on the ball and check in 24 hours ahead of time, but he doesn’t check in until he gets to the airport. In that case, you will board way ahead of him. Alternatively, a family of three may pay for one upgraded boarding position and try to save money by having that early boarder save seats for the others.

Is this kosher? Is saving seats ever OK on Southwest? This (like reclining, asking someone to switch seats on a normal airline, and standing up once your flight lands) is a matter of fierce dispute. Southwest does not have rules one way or another on seat-saving, which leads to clashes.

Who’s right?

I propose a compromise: It is OK to save seats, but not prime seats. That is, it’s OK to save seats to keep a group together, but not OK to save seats to get your friends nicer seats.

The woman here is saving a whole exit row.

This is wrong. It means other people who have paid or otherwise taken efforts to get more legroom are getting bumped aside in favor of folks who didn’t.

Also, I think keeping a group together is a more noble cause than trying to maximize your own legroom. I think we should accommodate for (make sacrifices for) families or groups, for a whole host of reasons in which I don’t believe we have to accommodate someone who just wants more legroom.

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An early boarder saving an ordinary row of seats isn’t likely causing a slightly later boarder to get a worse seat: That slightly later boarder will likely get an equivalent different seat. Also, that slightly later boarder doesn’t value sitting next to the early boarder in the same way that early boarder’s children or colleagues might. Keeping a group together adds to the aggregate happiness on the plane.

If I ran Southwest, I would make this rule: You may save seats, but not in the exit row, and not in the bulkhead or any of the first 10 rows.