Quick, Roger Goodell! To the virtue signal!
As America eagerly anticipates the return of football to the sports landscape, the NFL has decided to throw a Gatorade bucket of ice water on everyone's joy by once again requiring that all 32 teams display a 'social justice message' in the end zones for every game.
Has anyone bothered to tell the NFL that a virtue signal isn't all that virtuous if it is mandated by the woke league front office?
And look at those choices! Why, we're guaranteed to stop hate if we simply tell people to cut it out. Choose love? What kind of love does the NFL mean? The love that Tyreek Hill has for assaulting women?
Yipes.
Kind of says a lot about priorities, doesn't it? 'Don't Drink And Drive, Players' also seems to be missing from the list of options.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with holding these thoughts personally. The problem comes when you force people to express them, meaninglessly.
The NFL doesn't care about making a difference. They care about showing everyone that ... they care.
But as long as the NFL is forcing its teams to express banal, useless platitudes, users on X had some hilarious ideas about what other messages should be included.
KA-BOOMITY!
The DOJ Civil Rights chief with a haymaker right out of the gate!
A message Democrat politicians need to be reminded of for sure, but maybe it will also be a lesson to some super-rich NFL players who, all too often, get off with slaps on the wrist for crimes that would land the rest of us in prison.
Of course. They Live was a movie ahead of its time.
We're going to need to manufacture those Roddy Piper sunglasses on a mass scale.
They all broke the law. They all have to leave.
HA!
Can we also have one that reads, 'Men Can't Get Pregnant'?
Funny how there are always so many 'trans women' trying to invade women's sports, but never any 'trans men' trying out for NFL teams.
There we go. A statement that's not even a little bit controversial. Just facts.
We're not sure that we need to raise awareness on that issue. In November 2024, America showed how much everyone already knows that one.
Simple. Direct. Effective. (And also a little bit meta.)
We love it.
Shhhh. The NFL doesn't like talking about that one.
If the NFL wants to have male cheerleaders, that's fine. But they should be like male cheerleaders in college. Huge, strong, dressed appropriately, and able to toss 95-pound, twirling female cheerleaders 20 feet in the air like a baton ... and then catch them.
Male cheerleaders who are just doing a womanface Dylan Mulvaney routine will get the Bud Light treatment.
Hey, now we're talkin'! We think a lot of the NFL players would be down with that one.
And Ron Paul just exploded off his couch in applause.
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA.
Someone needs to send that one to Gavin Newsom's social media team and convince them it's real. It shouldn't be too difficult. The people on that team aren't the sharpest lumps of Play-Doh in the can.
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dammit, now we have that song stuck in our head. And now you do, too.
Exactly.
That is what the players and the league are there for, after all. To play football. That's it.
And it's kind of a sad state of affairs if they need to be reminded of that.
Twitchy favorite James Woods summed up the return of this mandate in only two words:
Well said.
But we actually found another person who captured it even better than Woods, which is a rare feat.
In the words of Michael Scott from The Office, 'THANK YOU!'
Football is America's pastime. The game of football. Not the politics of it.
And forced virtue signaling will never be something that America embraces.
Someone should probably tell Roger Goodell that time is over.
And also that we only have ONE national anthem.
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