It's been a long-standing joke on social media that Canada is not a real country. And frankly, Canadians don't do a whole lot to dispel that joke. While President Trump likes to troll them about becoming the 51st state, they respond by ... renaming a cup of coffee. When former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau couldn't handle Trump's ribbing, he went and tattled to the U.K.'s King Charles III.
And whatever you do, don't remind Canadians about the last time a team from their country won the Stanley Cup. They REALLY don't like it when we do that.
Of course, just the fact that Canada still considers the King of England as their head of state is sort of a dead giveaway all by itself.
This week, that monarch paid a visit to his subjects as King Charles delivered a 'Speech from the Throne,' a ceremonial address that marks the opening of a session of the Canadian Parliament.
Except no one paid any attention to what Charles said in the speech because he opened his address with ... wait for it ... a land acknowledgement. Watch:
Good Lord. Have some self-respect. You're the King of England. Granted, the U.K. is a shell of the global empire it once was, but are there no limits to how much a modern-day kind will base himself before the mob?
(It should be noted that the speech was not written by Charles's staff, but by the staff of Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney's office. But the king still read that humiliating opening.)
However, if we pay close attention to Charles' land acknowledgement, we're pretty sure he answered the question once and for all that Canada is not, in fact, a legitimate country.
Whether he meant to or not.
Open to annexations, you say? Did we just detect an orange eyebrow being raised all the way from Mar-a-Lago?
It sure sounds that way to us.
Do you think we'd even need them? A few infantry platoons might do the trick.
HA!
We like that a lot better than the other chant.
We have no interest in making Canada a state and giving all of those leftist hosers the right to vote in our elections.
But a non-voting protectorate might work. There are a lot of natural resources in the Great White North, after all.
Aside from having better hockey teams, we also have better coffee and donuts.
Sorry, Tim Horton's fans, but it's true.
National Fall Foliage Week arrives at the end of September. That would be a great time for the invasion.
Alternatively, we could announce a partnership with some of the Canadian Native tribes to hand over control of the land, seeing as how King Charles said it belongs to them.
LOL.
In all honesty, though, U.S. rule of Canada can't be any worse than their current government, where MAID is rapidly climbing up the charts to become of of the leading causes of death.
The first thing we should do is declare Canada Day to be a silly, unsanctioned, and defunct holiday.
As conservative commentator Matt Walsh often says, Canada does not have a coherent national identity. The only identity they embrace is 'We are not America.'
Which is not an identity. It is just cope.
And sure, they may say that. But we all know they secretly hope we will save them from themselves.
The truth is, that will probably never happen. But the joke hasn't gotten old for us yet. And it ever will.
So, we thank King Charles III for telling everyone what we already knew: Canada is not a real country.
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