Note: The following Twitchy story contains satire.

On Sunday, Tim Walz and his wife, Gwen, led a gay pride parade through the streets of Minneapolis, Minnesota. There’s a video of him enthusiastically waving to the crowds, showing off his undeniable masculinity. There was one major question looming in observers' minds: Why doesn’t Tim Walz appeal to heterosexual white men?

Let’s start at the parade. (WATCH)

It truly is a mystery.

Tim Walz is a father of two who exudes masculine energy. He was also a military man. Commenters see it.

Look at him on the battlefield, ready for blood.

Tim Walz is enthusiasm personified. How can any straight guy be mad about that, especially when Walz is so eager to show it and share it, like a man?

Those hands are deadly weapons - respect them!

Men love exercise and fitness, and Walz learned from the best, Richard Simmons, a man's man several times over.

That is the walk of a warrior.

Posters say Walz missed a chance to show off his chiseled physique by not following the example of other proud men.

More surprising is that they underestimated him so much. Walz is the total package. Democrats need to get him out of Minnesota so that he can start working to secure those white male heterosexual votes now, if he chooses to run for president in 2028.