Well, it's not quite a feature film yet, but it should be.

Apparently, Pablo Escobar imported four hippos for his private zoo while he was running his cocaine empire. That relatively innocuous number has since blossomed into the roughly 169 that currently call the rivers of Colombia home. These hippos are feral and quite happy in their new environment where they lack the natural predators of their native Africa. Now they appear to be wiping out a large amount of grassland, poisoning their habitat, and being an all-around nuisance to the people in their vicinity. It should also be noted that hippos are dangerously territorial and notorious for unpredictable violence.

Naturally, X users chimed in with some unique takes on this international story.

We believe that's how this particular situation started. The only suitable environment for them to be removed to would be their native Africa.

Yep. It's hard to breed when dead.

We were once youthful, with optimism about the future, too. Alas, the 21st century has not been kind to our aspirations.

A few users embodied Gayla Peevey and declared that they would, indeed, like a hippopotamus for Christmas.

Others figure that the cocaine hippos could be a creative solution to another problem.

A number of people believe that cocaine hippos is a great name for a band.

We saw Cocaine Hippos Open for the Stones in Asbury Park.

We'll leave you on this note.

Won't you think of the poor sex-crazed cocaine hippos?

And now back to your regularly scheduled X-based insanity.

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