Note: The following story contains satire.

Inauguration Day is almost here, but will it really be Donald Trump taking the oath of office? Pollster supreme, J. Ann Selzer, is dropping her bestest poll ever this Sunday and it could place Kamala Harris in her rightful place in the Oval Office! Need a refresher on Selzer? Go read here and here and then jump right back. We’ll wait. Cool, you’re back! 

Keep going. (READ)

Iowa is so sneaky. We remember what happened last time.

Some people just knew that Selzer’s Iowa polling was correct. This is the real presidential election map. Don’t let anyone fool you. Check it out! 

No, Selzer has been right all along. Her final poll will prove it. Commenters are getting excited.

The blue wave is going to flip all those red states at the last minute. Just you watch! The power of polls!

It’s already a done deal!

You have to believe!

What else will this final poll show?

Ooh, Biden’s going to be co-president with Kamala if these numbers hold.

Wow, look at Denmark getting all those Electoral votes.

That’s Mrs. Clown, to you! Keep believing those polls, folks!