Generally speaking, we like the idea of a Supreme Court. Seems like a judicial check on the legislative and executive branches is actually a pretty important thing to have in a functioning constitutional republic.

But there’s one thing that we haven’t been considering. Or, rather, one person we haven’t been considering.

And his name is Cooper.

Even Cooper?!

Sorry, Stephen. But it’s Cooper.

Cooper. You know, Cooper. How could you possibly forget about Cooper? We don’t even know what to eat for breakfast until we check in with Cooper.

To be fair, we’re not exactly sure how old Cooper is. It’s possible he wasn’t even verbal four years ago.

What are Cooper’s thoughts on the economy? Or our foreign policy? These are things we need to know.

Thoughts and prayers for Bloomberg Opinion, while we’re at it. They’re taking a well deserved beating right now, and they need all the divine intervention they can get.

Well anyway, at least one thing’s for sure:

Most definitely. Let’s get this show on the road.

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