In September of 2023, we told you all about some TOTALLY REALISTIC ALIEN BODIES found in Peru. Boy, we had fun writing that one up, but now we have a SHOCKING update. They have been proven to NOT be aliens.
Sit down if you have to. We understand. We were shocked too. But the freaky part is what they turned out to be. Forensic Experts say they are dolls, which we all assumed was the case, but they are made from paper, glue, metal, and ... human and animal BONES.
HUMAN AND ANIMAL BONES!!! Apparently, there was a three-fingered hand along with the aliens in September but we were so focussed on the mini-ETs that we missed that altogether. The forensics show the weird little hand to be made from human bones as well. EWWW!
The photos in that post are great. We can not figure out how in the world they are FAKE. They seem so realistic. Particularly with the little red dress and fancy shoes in the second image. We are SHOCKED we tell you. SHOCKED!
Posters on X had some fun with the news as well.
SNORT In the cake versions were they gray and shriveled with no clothes or did they break out the fondant and make a fancy red dress? hahahaha.
Right? We can not believe it. When we wrote it up in September we were CERTAIN it was the first of many sightings of miniature 'ET meets a Gremlin that was fed after midnight' super aliens to come.
NEVER! They totally looked like real aliens and It was not ONLY papier mache, it had bones too!
He has a point.
HA! That is true. Biden says a lot of stupid things. We imagine Biden looking at the little Aliens saying 'I mean, you got the first mainstream Alien-Americans here who could have been articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking beings. I mean, that's a storybook, man. If only the GOP had not made it so hard to find a pathway to citizenship they may be alive and real today!'
That last quote was a play on a few of Biden's real quotes. We felt we needed to clarify for everyone since he does say some stupid stuff.
We promise to let you know when any FOR REAL FOR REAL aliens show up. Until then, Nanu, Nanu, Mork From Ork Signing out.
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