Good NEWS, everyone! 

Joe Biden is BACK! He's tanned, rested, and ... you know, the thing!

We haven't heard much lately from the man who was allegedly the 46th President of the United States. This is likely because most of his days now consist of drooling into a cup for hours on end. 

But last night, Biden burst (well, stumbled, anyway) back onto the scene with an announcement that he was writing a new memoir. We can only hope this time he doesn't leak classified information to his ghostwriter like he did with his last memoir. 

LOL. Sure. Biden is getting calls from European leaders the same way Colin Kaepernick is getting calls from NFL general managers. 

Here are some more details from The New York Post: 

Former President Joe Biden revealed Wednesday that he’s writing a memoir and has been fielding calls from world leaders urging him to “get engaged” since leaving the White House. 

Biden, 82, was asked about his post-presidency activities during a Q&A session at the Society for Human Resource Management’s (SHRM) convention in San Diego, where he delivered a keynote speech.

'Well, you know … it sounds strange … the problem is there is not a lot of time,' Biden responded, in what would be a rambling, nearly 10-minute-long answer ... 

... The former president claimed he’s still fielding calls from US allies.  

'And I’m getting calls – I’m not going to go into them, I can’t – from a number of European leaders asking me to get engaged,' Biden said, before noting, 'I’m not, because things are different.'

'So, I’m doing that,' the former president said, as he began to think about what else he’s been up to since Jan. 20, promoting the moderator to interject, 'World peace? That’s nice to do in retirement.'

The ex-president also claimed he’s been 'dealing with a lot of Democrat and Republican colleagues calling me … wanting to talk and bounce things off of me.'

Yeah, none of that is happening. Unless 'Doctor' Jill is handing him a Fisher-Price phone and telling him that François Mitterand or Ted Kennedy is on the line. 

As for the 'rambling, 10-minute-long answer' referenced above, we've got that too, thanks to insufferable Biden simp Chris D. Jackson.

Moment of Zen? More like moment of zombie. 

That clip is 9 minutes long, and we don't want anyone to suffer through it all. Trust us when we say that it hit all the Biden lowlights. There were the meandering stories that went nowhere, awkward moments of silence, Beau made an appearance (because, of course, he did), and one of our all-time favorites, quiet mumbling followed by VERY LOUD SHOUTING!

We particularly enjoyed how the crowd couldn't understand a thing he said, but they obediently clapped like seals and laughed when Biden laughed at some joke that was happening in his head. 

Oh, right. We forgot that. Biden also tried to eat his pen at the beginning. That's just SO Joe.

If anyone is wondering why this wasn't covered more by the legacy media last night, that wasn't a mistake. 

Thankfully, The New York Post never misses an opportunity to show how Biden's brain is basically tapioca. And Jackson is too dumb to understand that the video he shared only proved the point. 

As for the 'calls' Biden allegedly is receiving, not one is buying that either. 

To Biden's credit, he did manage to exit his plane arriving in San Diego without falling on his face. But it took him about 10 minutes.

Generalissimo Francisco Franco has been desperately trying to reach him. 

We hear that Jill does an outstanding Golda Meir impersonation. 

What's amazing is that Biden thinks -- or, more accurately, someone told him to think -- that anyone is interested in a memoir about his disaster of a presidency. 

HAHAHAHA. There's always a Simpsons reference. 

Nope. We're not going to take that bet. If anything, that's a low estimate.

Make no mistake. Biden is not writing this memoir. He's likely not even meeting with a ghostwriter. 

Everything in the book will be dictated to the writer by his horrible wife. And possibly by Hunter. 

If Biden were involved, it would be the shortest memoir in history.

'You did great, Joe! You wrote all the pages!'

She can't give it up. She's just that evil. 

But hey. At least we're grateful that Biden gave us proof of life last night. Well ... sort of. 

Just barely, but yes. 

According to whoever wrote down what Biden was supposed to say last night, his new memoir is scheduled to be completed by next March.

We can only hope that it's a (Corn) Pop-up book. 

Editor's Note: The Democrat Party has never been less popular as voters reject its globalist agenda.

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