It's an election year, so President Joe Biden traveled to North Carolina to announce that his administration was investing $3 billion to provide high-speed internet access to the state. Local news then reported that Biden got a vanilla milkshake with chocolate syrup.

Biden's old boss, Barack Obama, promised that we'd have coast-to-coast high-speed rail under his administration. Biden just promised that he was going to cure cancer.

Biden can never tell an anecdote just once — he always falls back on stories like the time his house almost burned down with Jill in it, or how his son Beau died in Iraq. On Thursday, he revived his line about students sitting in McDonald's parking lots during the pandemic to use their wi-fi to do their homework.

Biden of course said he'd create subsidies for low-income residents to help them gain access to high-speed internet. He gives illegal immigrants cell phones … they can use those as wi-fi hotspots.

Remember when the American Federation of Teachers was telling Biden's CDC what to say?