As straight, white man Harry Sisson announced late last Friday, "TRUMP IS DEAD" was among the trending topics on X, with the president not having made any public appearances for a couple of days.

President Donald Trump was golfing over the Labor Day holiday — or at least his body double was photographed being driven from the golf course in Virginia — and on Tuesday, he got back to business, announcing the relocation of Space Command Headquarters from blue Colorado to deep-red Huntsville, Alabama, soon to be known as Rocket City.

At the press conference, one reporter asked, "How did you find out over the weekend that you were dead?" That question naturally brought President Joe Biden into the conversation:

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… And nobody ever said there was ever anything wrong with him!"

"We know he wasn't in the greatest of shape..."

Well, to be honest, a lot of us said there was something wrong with him, but the media reassured us that those videos were just "cheap fakes."

Apparently, the death rumors didn't spread on Truth Social like they did on X.

By the way, great news for Huntsville. Those hicks in Alabama are building themselves quite a tech hub in the South.