The trial of would-be Trump assassin Ryan Routh hasn't even started in earnest yet, and already things are getting decidedly weird. A couple of days ago, Twitchy reported that Routh, who is defending himself, had submitted a pre-trial motion demanding a 'beatdown session' for the President. 

Maybe not the best idea for someone who's facing charges of trying to assassinate the man. But just to show there were no hard feelings, Routh also challenged Trump to a round of golf -- with the stakes being the presidency or execution. 

So, you know, the insanity defense seems to be well underway. 

But the HMS Routh seems to have only struck the tip of the nutbar iceberg so far. This morning, things got even more bizarre when we learned about at least one of Routh's -- ahem -- more colorful character witnesses that he had hoped to bring to his defense. 

We could not possibly improve on what you are about to read, so we'll just let you read it. 

Umm ... Errr ... We ... Wut? 

Sorry, we got nothin'. Take it away, X. 

Whew. At least we're not the only ones who are at a loss for words here. 

Well, Judge Cannon did call it a farce, so Monty Python would be the most appropriate reaction. 

Don't they teach that in Political Assassination 101? 

All we can say is, thank God the trial is in Florida.

We're just waiting for the Cinemax late-night adaptation of The Ryan Routh Story. 

Right? 

Is this just bare hands we're talking about, or were there paddles and whips involved? 

That's worth a shot, but the prosecution would have a great counter-argument because, let's be honest here, seeing as how he was camped out for hours on a golf course in Florida in the summer, more than a few mosquitoes were almost certainly slaughtered.

Yes, that came as a shock to us as well. 

As did that. We could have sworn he would have checked the 'non-binary' box. 

Well, calling it 'burlesque' might have been a little too on the nose. 

Hey, we're not here to judge anyone. That's Cannon's job. 

If what we've seen so far is any measure of what is to come from Routh in his attempt to acquit himself, we can't wait for jury selection to begin, let alone opening arguments.

On the other hand, in the interest of our collective sanity ...

Yeah. Yeah, that might be the best choice. 

Seeing as how Routh is not eligible to be sent to 'freeze to death in Siberia,' as he requested, someone can just wake us when he gets sentenced to life in prison.

============================================

Related:

President Trump Is Not Dead, But Parody Might Be After the Latest Politico Headline

'A Supremely Dishonest Person': Chris Rufo BURIES David French For Lying About Cracker Barrel

You Left a Few Out, Abi: Spanberger Posts T-Shirt Designs on X and WOW, That Was a Bad Idea

Sit This One Out, Blimpy: X ENDS J.B. Pritzker for Scolding Trump to Be More Like Illinois Students

Light Her Up! Justine Bateman Puts Karen Bass on BLAST for Abandoning Her Job