As a resident of Alabama, this writer felt it was absolutely necessary to be the one to bring this story to you, our dear Twitchy readers. Bama Man has really stepped up his game in the rivalry with Florida Man as to which can be the most ridiculous man in the South. Just this past Thursday, January 4, 2024, a man crashed his car outside of the Bass Pro Shop store in Leeds, AL. He then proceeded to strip down, butt naked, and cannonball into the giant fish tank inside, to the shock and amusement of shoppers. He then managed to knock himself unconscious.
We cannot make this stuff up, y'all.
Other X users shared the video of the incident, but it has not been properly censored/blurred so you'll just have to look it up for yourselves, if you dare. Let's dive right in, shall we?
Police Chief Paul Irwin said the incident happened 'about near closing time,' and for the record, 'about near' is a standard unit of time here in Alabama.
As police approached the man, he attempted to climb out of the tank ON THE GLASS SIDE, and fell to the concrete, successfully knocking himself out like a light.
The man is identified as George Owens of Sterrett, AL and he is charged with public lewdness, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, assault on a police officer, two counts of first-degree criminal mischief and two counts of reckless endangerment.
Naturally, X users had a lot to say about this incident.
This writer can confirm that that is the official technical term.
Now, gosh darnit, no one was ever supposed to find out about that!
If you're all really quiet and you open your windows right now, you just might hear Jeff Foxworthy cackling like a madman.
We Alabamians aim to please.
To be honest, so are we.
OKAY ... yeah. It's not like we're highly soFISHticated here.
It's the most e-fish-ent way to make national headlines.
Disclaimer: No fish were harmed in the making of this article, but there was at least one very sore Bama Man.
Roll Tide, y'all. Let minnow what you think in the comments!
Editor's Note: Do you enjoy Twitchy's conservative reporting taking on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth. Join Twitchy VIP and use the promo code SAVEAMERICA to get 40% off your VIP membership!