At Twitchy, there's nothing we love more than a juicy social media feud. And we've had a good share of them this week. President Trump and Elon Musk have been going at it so hard, poor JD Vance must feel like a kid caught in the middle of a nasty divorce. And in the world of sports, Simone Biles was feeling so froggy last night, she decided to have a leap at Riley Gaines.
In fairness, we probably can't call that second one a 'feud.' It was more like a brutal beatdown delivered by Gaines and the rest of X after Biles claimed that men belong in women's sports (now that she doesn't have to compete against them, that is).
These have been fun to enjoy with a bowl of popcorn, but we want a feud with some meat on the bones, you know? Something with some potentially world-ending consequences. A feud that can shake the pillars of Heaven.
Who better to turn to for that than a sarcastic volcano and the world's best-known fracture in the Earth's crust?
Without any further ado, it brings us great pleasure to present to you the feud to end all feuds:
The San Andreas Fault vs. Mount St. Helens.
With that open declaration of war from the continental fissure, the gauntlet had been laid down.
And if you know Mount St. Helens, she wasn't about to let this challenge go unanswered. America's favorite active stratovolcano had been busy showing solidarity with her fellow mountains that had erupted this week, like Italy's Mount Etna, but when she saw this clear provocation, she fired back ... HARD.
Whoa! A roundhouse from 'Helen' right out of the gate!
'Andy' may have started having second thoughts about igniting this conflagration.
Hey, you started it, kid. Don't poke the volcano if you can't handle the ash.
Helen didn't back down an inch.
There was no retreating now, and Andy knew it. He pulled out some big guns of his own.
Uh-oh. Going after a woman's looks. Talk about crossing the Rubicon. Some things simply cannot be unsaid.
Helen took that one personally, as any lady would.
Yep. Things were starting to spin wildly out of control at this point.
And then she followed up with a dig at Andy's fame relative to hers.
That was a solid strike, but Helen's rumblings showed she was starting to lose her composure.
She even started lashing out at innocent great lakes who were just passing by, minding their own business.
Yikes. That is some collateral damage right there.
Andy must have known that he had gotten to Helen, though. He quickly pressed his advantage.
Eep.
Just repeated body blows from Andy. He knew he had the upper hand.
The feud had officially turned uglier than the cast of The View.
As a finishing blow, Andy decided to post a poll to ask X who was winning.
There are still several hours left in the poll, but at the time of this writing, Andy was running away with it, beating Helen nearly 70-30 percent in the votes.
For the moment, Helen appears to have retreated to her corner. We might even say she has gone ... dormant.
[Ba-dum-tsss!]
If we know her, though, she will be back soon with a new eruption of snarky retorts against her subterranean foe.
But no matter who ultimately comes out on top in the Battle of Geological Titans, the real winners of this feud were all of us on X.
Nope. Neither are we. This is the content we are here for.
We hope the feud continues. Because, let's face it, the Sweet Meteor O' Death hasn't been delivering and just likes to tease us over and over again.
Thankfully, Mount St. Helens and The San Andreas Fault know what the people want: snarky ultraviolence.